Losing Battle

I just can not stick with an exercise routine for anything… and it’s keeping me from my weight loss goals.  I am eating okay, but I have days where I just eat anything I want.  I know that’s not helping.  However, I tend to eat better when I’m also working out regularly.  I have to completely change my lifestyle in order to stick to any changes.  Back in January, I posted unflattering “before” pictures of myself.  I’m happy to say I went down a size since then.  However, I weigh even more, so I won’t bother telling you the number. 

I fell off the wagon a few times, but kept pressing forward, with the goal of losing a few pounds before my March beach trip.  Well, March came and went (and so did the trip).  The trip was fabulous, but I didn’t lose much.  And now, everything I lost for the trip is back.  I get so tired of the fluctuations, a trend that has followed me around my entire adult life. 

I feel that exercise is my biggest roadblock.  I know this is going to sound like excuses, but I can’t find anything that works with my life.  I started out with the 30 Day Shred.  That was definitely effective and easy to fit into my day (the workout is ~20 minutes).  The problem?  It’s very rough on my knees.  I should probably see a doctor to find out if there’s something wrong with me knee or if it just needs strenghtening.  All my fitness-expert friends seem to think it just needs good stretching and some exercise.  I took a break from the Shred and tried running.  I used to be a runner (used to, as in about 10 years ago), but I don’t know what the deal is.  Maybe it’s age, maybe it’s being out of shape – but again, it killed my knees.  I did some research and decided to try Pilates for awhile.  I got a DVD specifically designed for weight loss through Pilates.  I did one session.  It was SO HARD, but that’s not why I stopped.  It’s an hour long.  I do not have a spare hour in my day.  Dustin bought some kettlebells and has been hardcore with his workout routine since.  He primarily works out with those and has seen amazing results.  You should feel the muscles in his arms!  And his waist line is really shrinking.  I thought I’d give them a try, so he walked me through some workouts.  It ended in a fight.  I get too frustrated when he corrects me.  I haven’t touched a weight or attempted a workout since.  Sigh.

So I’m left trying to figure out where to start again.  I’m thinking of popping the 30 Day Shred in this weekend and giving it a gentle try, stopping when I feel strain in my knees.  I’m thinking of also fitting in a walk this weekend, in hopes of easing back into running this year.  Pilates definitely needs another chance – I just won’t be able to do it daily.  All I know is, if I’m sedentary (well, as sedentary as you can be with 3 little boys and a job that requires you to walk all over), the fat isn’t going anywhere. 

As far as goals, I need to stop looking at the big picture of the 30-40 lbs I need to lose and make some mini-goals.  I want to lose 40 pounds in 2012.  Wow.  That’s a lot and feels like it’s totally not possible.  So let me break it down – That leaves 34 weeks.  That’s 1.18 pounds a week – totally doable!!  There will be some weeks I don’t lose any and some weeks I lose 2.  Hell, let’s be honest, there WILL be weeks when I gain 3.  I just need to redo the numbers every month and see where I stand.  I can totally do this, right?!

I’m thinking about starting up a group for people who want to lose weight with me.  I’ll keep you posted on whether or not I decide I can take on yet ANOTHER thing.