Hepburn and Houndstooth

White Girl Problems: Hair

Rhonda Gail — Thu, 17 May 2012 18:19:03 +0000

Currently

Y’all know I obsess over my hair. Well, maybe you don’t know me well enough to know that, but anyone who knows me IRL knows – I talk about it all the time. It’s not that I think I have fabulous hair (okay, it IS pretty great), but it’s more that I always want to change it up. I am constantly debating long/short/highlights/natural/red/bangs. I always go in to my stylist , get it chopped off and 3 weeks later am longing for my long locks. Right now, my hair is the longest it has been in a very long time. I’ve been growing it out almost a year. It feels like such an accomplishment to be at this length and when I fix it, I get so many compliments. But see, that’s the issue here. I don’t fix it often enough because it’s extremely time-consuming and tiring to dry and straighten or curl my thick hair.

I get inspired toward both chopping it and continuing to grow it on a daily basis. Gorgeous manes like these are currently serving as inspiration to keep growing.

Cheryl Cole

Rachel Bilson

Mila Kunis

: Kate Middleton

Also considering cutting in bangs to alleviate some of my boredom.

Kelly Clarkson

My beautiful cousin Tessa

Aside from the endless cut battle, I’m also throwing around ideas about a few scattered ombre style highlights and going blonde for the first time in my life. So daily I say, “I just don’t know what do do with my lustrous, thick hair.” Cue the violins.

Hair lovers, what do you suggest for me?

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Indecision – always.

Rhonda Gail — Tue, 15 May 2012 23:41:50 +0000

This isn’t the first time (and it certainly won’t be the last) that I write about indecision. After all, I’m pretty much my own worst enemy. Current internal debate (well, one of them): Where will we live?

This is something I’ve struggled with my entire adulthood. As a teen, I knew all I wanted to do was get. out. That is of course very common for kids who grow up in a small town. I went an hour away to college and that one hour made me feel like I was in an entirely different country. I lived in my college town of Hattiesburg, Mississippi for about 6 years. When I was pregnant with my oldest son, my boyfriend and I moved to Maryland, in a town just outside of D.C. I lived there for a short time before I realized I wanted to go back to the south and be near my family. I moved back in with my dad and my boyfriend went his own way. When Nick was just nearly a year old, I met Dustin and was faced with choices. Once we knew we wanted to go the distance, Nick and I moved in with Dustin in Clermont, Florida. I loved it there, but it was physically painful to be so far away from my parents as I raised children. After much thought and discussion, we relocated our family of four to Lucedale again. We never meant to stay in Lucedale. It was just meant to be a transition, a place to stay rent-free while we tried to find jobs and our own home. The job market proved to be really tough and it took awhile to get jobs. We ended up staying at my dad’s for about a year while Dustin commuted a total of 3+ hours per day. It was rough to say the least. During our stay, we were faced with a huge decision and went back and forth on it several times. My dad offered to let us take over the mortgage on his house so that we could be homeowners. He even offered to move out into a trailer on his property so that we could have all the space. The house is very small and needs tons of work, but we had lots of ideas to take on the task a little at a time. The problem was that there is nowhere to work in that tiny town. Other than the city and county employees, teachers, and farmers, most people drive out of town for work. As much as I had grown to love the idea of raising my children out in the country on the very land where I was raised, and sending them to the schools I attended, going to the church I love… I had to let go and look for homes elsewhere. We turned down my dad’s offer and the week after I accepted a job near Dustin’s work, we moved into our new rental house.

We loved our house immediately and for the most part, still do. We have a fabulous landlord and he wants to owner finance the home for us. Oh look, another decision. While it’s a great opportunity given our poor credit… we don’t know that we love the house enough to buy it. To make it the right home for us would take a lot of work and adding on (hello?! I have a 2×2 closet in my bedroom!). I also am not crazy about our neighborhood. It’s a little run down, which turns me off from buying. We signed our second year-long lease in February, so we have at least nine months before we have to decide where we’re headed next. But I’m already dwelling on it and stressing over it. We want to buy the next place we live in, so we’ve started trying to prepare for that, paying down debts and saving. The big issue is where will we buy the place we want to settle down indefinitely? I’ve been weighing school districts, shopping amenities, highway access, insurance rates, property taxes, proximity to jobs, distance from my parents… and I’m more confused than when I started. We have pretty much decided to stay on the Gulf Coast and probably stay in our county. I go back and forth between living a little outside of town with some acreage and living in a nice little neighborhood where our kids can play with neighbor friends.

If it were completely up to me, we’d just move back to my hometown of Lucedale. I have visions of low cost of living and less expensive homes and insurance (not in flood zones!), as well as less hurricane threat… of going to the church I love and getting together with my family on a regular basis. I would love to be able to just have my dad over for dinner without him having to sleep over (sharing a twin bed with a 6 year old!). I’d love to get our boys together with their cousins and my friends’ kids. I want to open a business on Main Street like I’ve dreamed of my whole life. I’m nothing if not sentimental and the idea of a country life surrounded by people I know and love sounds damn amazing to me. However, this is not my reality. I’m married to a city boy who loves convenience and has zero interest in making a daily commute (not that I’m crazy about that myself).

Have you ever been faced with the same decision over and over? Are you like me and waver on 80% of things in your life?

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Mother’s Day

Rhonda Gail — Mon, 14 May 2012 18:04:43 +0000

I had a simple Mother’s Day, including lunch with my mom. Just a few pictures…. (excuse the quality. these were edited within an inch of their lives b/c our faces were nearly black with shadows)

My brother, Mama, and me

My boys!

A rare family photo

Dress: Marshall’s | Belt: Thrifted | Cardi: Mossimo for Target | Sandals: Target | Watch: mark.

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The Cloth Life

Rhonda Gail — Sat, 12 May 2012 13:30:00 +0000

We are still loving our cloth diapers. I don’t even think about them most of the time. They have become second nature, especially since we started using them on Harper as well. We have officially stopped buying disposables and I feel so liberated! I think the only disposable product in our entire house is toilet paper! Oh, and my makeup remover wipes. I feel so green.

Anyway, if you are on the fence about whether or not to use cloth diapers, allow me to pursuade you. After 6 months of use, here are the benefits:

Cost savings – including our cloth wipes and all other diapering accessories, we have spent about $127. That’s IT. I anticipate the need to spend about $50 more until potty training. So, from the day we started using our cloth (around 8 weeks) until potty training, we will have spent less than $200. You do have to factor in the energy costs of all the washing, but we don’t wash much more than we already were and just bought new energy efficient washer and dryer. If you wash on cold and line dry, you’ll save even more. There are more costly diapers out there, but we don’t buy them. Feel free to email me if you want to hear a breakdown of everything I’ve bought so far and what I anticipate needing to buy.
Good for the planet - I’m not interested in quoting stats, but if you’re a numbers person, do the research on how long a disposable sits in a landfill. do the research on the chemicals used in the diapers. You should be disgusted after that.
Chemical Free – I take great care to minimize my use of chemicals. That goes for food, health and beauty products, cleaning supplies, and baby stuff. Everything, really. Disposable diapers use a chemical to maximize absorbency. This is why certain brands break out some kids.
CUTE! – This is just a bonus, but nobody can deny the cuteness of little colored and printed tooshies.
Soft and cushy – I’m afraid I’ve slowed down Harper’s potty training progress because he loves wearing the cloth diapers! He tells me how good they feel all the time.
Zero blowouts – We have yet to have a single poop blowout with the cloth diapers. When used correctly, they are typically bulletproof.
Have to be changed often – Nope, it wasn’t an error, listing this as a benefit. I think it’s pretty gross that most of us tend to leave our children in diapers as long as they’ll hold. With cloth, they don’t hold as much as a disposable (thanks to not being laden with chemicals that make those lovely gel bits that get all over the place if a diaper is left on too long). But who cares? Don’t have to worry about going through diapers too fast.

Now, most things don’t come without drawbacks. I can honestly only think of three (minor) drawbacks to cloth.

Learning curve – Cloth diapers (especially pockets and all-in-ones, like we use) are very simple to use. However, when someone like a babysitter or grandmother is used to using disposables, it takes several tries to catch on. Our nanny has been with us for two weeks and still keeps forgetting the all-important hip snaps on our diapers. Cue leaks.
The Poop Dump – Poop does have to be dumped out of the diaper before washing, but it’s really no big deal. Most times, it just falls into the toilet with ease. When we get a nice sticky one, we have to swish it around in the toilet, but that’s no biggie either. Some people opt to get a diaper sprayer. We may do the same in the future. It’s a little known fact that diaper packaging actually states in the fine print that you are supposed to flush the waste before throwing away the diaper. It’s actually illegal to dispose of human waste in the garbage.
Nighttime solutions – Depending on the baby and the brand of diaper, you may be able to do the same thing at bedtime as you do the rest of the day. We happen to have a heavy wetter who sleeps through the night. Our inexpensive diapers do not hold up to that. I just ordered a nighttime diaper to try (only a few dollars more than my daytime diapers).

I understand that cloth is not for everyone and I’m definitely not one of those moms who will berate you for not using them. For us, the benefits are just so much greater than the drawbacks and we wish we’d started cloth 6 years ago!

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Six Months

Rhonda Gail — Fri, 11 May 2012 14:00:00 +0000

I don’t tend to do a lot of kid posts. I feel like this blog is sort of an escape for me. And quite honestly, I get tired of reading about people’s kids. I want to scream, “Yes, but who are YOU?!” I think it’s because I get really tired of people thinking a Mom is just that and nothing else. We are allowed to be our own people.

That being said, Quentin is now six months old. I feel so blessed to have him. He makes me so happy on a daily basis. So today, I do a kid post.

The little dude is so even-tempered. He only gets worked up if he is hungry, needs a nap, or needs a dry diaper. And let me tell you, the boy HATES to be wet. With cloth diapers, you can’t leave them in their wetness, because they feel it. So with Q, every pee warrants a change.

He is eating solids like a champ, thanks to our babysitter, who dove in headfirst where we hadn’t made time to. Now, if only we could remember his veggies and fruits on the weekends. Eep. Hopefully a trip to the farmer’s market this weekend will get me back into babyfood making.

He is such a hefty guy. His 6-month checkup isn’t until the 21st, but based on his last appointment, I’d guess him to be 20 pounds. His chunky thighs are just darlin’.

We are in the Super Drooly Teething Stage. His clothes are consistently soaked. There are days we just don’t bother dressing him.

Quentin is getting up on his hands and knees and rocking back and forth. It’s so cute and I love the way he gets so excited about it. Here is a video I took when I was trying to capture him in action. He didn’t do it again after I turned on the video (of course), but it’s cute anyway.

Quentin 6 Months

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Mama Confessions

Rhonda Gail — Tue, 08 May 2012 16:30:29 +0000

Blogland is full of Supermoms. You probably have a few at your church, workplace, or in your family as well. You know the one. She wears her Lilly Pulitzer, is present at every soccer and t-ball game and still doesn’t manage to miss a ballet recital or Mother-Daughter Tea. She is always dressed to perfection, a picture of Mom Chic. She is in Junior League and a book club and never misses Sunday school. Her kids have matching smocked clothes and don’t own a pair of underwear that isn’t monogrammed. She makes homecooked meals 5 nights a week (the other two are spent at social functions or date night). Hot pancakes are on her breakfast table in the mornings. She reads to the children nightly before climbing into bed with her husband and reading half of the latest bestseller. She never has an unkind thing to say to anyone. Around here, it’s just “Bless her heart.”

Sound familiar? I know it does. I have struggled over the last few years of heavy involvement with blogs and Twitter. I have struggled with not doing enough, not being enough. I try to push away my envy – envy of the houses, cars, designer and custom everything. If envious of anything, it should be the time these moms seem to have. I have to work full-time. My child can’t play soccer because there is nobody to take him to practices. We have to work. We pulled Nick out of public school to give homeschooling a try and honestly, it’s a struggle everyday because of our work schedules. There is literally time for nothing else. I try not to be envious of these moms who get to stay home. After all, most of them aren’t “lucky” to stay home. Try to remember where these women are coming from. Yes, some of them married a wealthy or highly ambitious man and never really had to work another day in their lives. But the rest of them? They got college degrees, worked for awhile while their husbands climbed the corporate ladder or started businesses. They did all this because they were preparing for a future where they could stay home with their children. If you don’t know someone’s life, don’t jump to call them Lucky. The word is highly overused. But, I digress.

I like to think of myself as Supermom. Nope, I really don’t do it all or have it all. However, I do a lot with the time and money I have available. I work 40 hours a week, during weird middle-of-day hours. I coupon and shop sales to ensure my family eats healthy. I cook 6-7 nights a week. I have date nights and social interaction. I homeschool my oldest child. I give each of my children individual attention. I HAVE THREE BOYS. My house is a mess, but I do keep laundry clean (including cloth diapers for 2 kids) and my living room and kitchen neat. I do my makeup every workday and my hair most of them. I write. I blog. I craft. I spend too much time texting. I’m exhausting just thinking of all that I do.

I am not perfect. I fall so short in so many ways. This wasn’t a post about that, though. At least, it wasn’t intended to be. Instead, here are my Mama confessions.

My kids have never owned a single piece of smocked clothing. Nothankyou.
I hate giving my kids baths (don’t freak out, I do it anyway).
Bedtime routine is not sacred to me. It’s a pain in the ass and I look forward to the day all three boys put themselves to bed and stay there.
I’d probably start my weekend mornings out with a little “nip” in my coffee if I had time to even pour it.
I rarely clean bathtubs. Most hated chore.
Sunday, I deep-cleaned my fridge for the first time in a year.
I don’t buy my kids a lot of clothes, because I don’t see the point. They wear the same stuff over and over.
My underwear is all too big, holey, or granny panties.
I own a washer and dryer I can’t afford.
When I go out for drinks, I typically overdo it because I’m just so damn happy to be out of the house.
I have worked in many fields and at 31, still don’t know what I want to be when I grow up.
Nick was on “Spring Break” for over 3 weeks, due to us being super busy and him being so far ahead in school. And I kind of enjoyed it.

What are your Mama Confessions?

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Losing Battle

Rhonda Gail — Fri, 04 May 2012 14:28:29 +0000

I just can not stick with an exercise routine for anything… and it’s keeping me from my weight loss goals. I am eating okay, but I have days where I just eat anything I want. I know that’s not helping. However, I tend to eat better when I’m also working out regularly. I have to completely change my lifestyle in order to stick to any changes. Back in January, I posted unflattering “before” pictures of myself. I’m happy to say I went down a size since then. However, I weigh even more, so I won’t bother telling you the number.

I fell off the wagon a few times, but kept pressing forward, with the goal of losing a few pounds before my March beach trip. Well, March came and went (and so did the trip). The trip was fabulous, but I didn’t lose much. And now, everything I lost for the trip is back. I get so tired of the fluctuations, a trend that has followed me around my entire adult life.

I feel that exercise is my biggest roadblock. I know this is going to sound like excuses, but I can’t find anything that works with my life. I started out with the 30 Day Shred. That was definitely effective and easy to fit into my day (the workout is ~20 minutes). The problem? It’s very rough on my knees. I should probably see a doctor to find out if there’s something wrong with me knee or if it just needs strenghtening. All my fitness-expert friends seem to think it just needs good stretching and some exercise. I took a break from the Shred and tried running. I used to be a runner (used to, as in about 10 years ago), but I don’t know what the deal is. Maybe it’s age, maybe it’s being out of shape – but again, it killed my knees. I did some research and decided to try Pilates for awhile. I got a DVD specifically designed for weight loss through Pilates. I did one session. It was SO HARD, but that’s not why I stopped. It’s an hour long. I do not have a spare hour in my day. Dustin bought some kettlebells and has been hardcore with his workout routine since. He primarily works out with those and has seen amazing results. You should feel the muscles in his arms! And his waist line is really shrinking. I thought I’d give them a try, so he walked me through some workouts. It ended in a fight. I get too frustrated when he corrects me. I haven’t touched a weight or attempted a workout since. Sigh.

So I’m left trying to figure out where to start again. I’m thinking of popping the 30 Day Shred in this weekend and giving it a gentle try, stopping when I feel strain in my knees. I’m thinking of also fitting in a walk this weekend, in hopes of easing back into running this year. Pilates definitely needs another chance – I just won’t be able to do it daily. All I know is, if I’m sedentary (well, as sedentary as you can be with 3 little boys and a job that requires you to walk all over), the fat isn’t going anywhere.

As far as goals, I need to stop looking at the big picture of the 30-40 lbs I need to lose and make some mini-goals. I want to lose 40 pounds in 2012. Wow. That’s a lot and feels like it’s totally not possible. So let me break it down – That leaves 34 weeks. That’s 1.18 pounds a week – totally doable!! There will be some weeks I don’t lose any and some weeks I lose 2. Hell, let’s be honest, there WILL be weeks when I gain 3. I just need to redo the numbers every month and see where I stand. I can totally do this, right?!

I’m thinking about starting up a group for people who want to lose weight with me. I’ll keep you posted on whether or not I decide I can take on yet ANOTHER thing.

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Ben, Part Two

Rhonda Gail — Wed, 18 Apr 2012 17:24:25 +0000

After my shift that night, I went home to Drew. I tossed and turned all night. I was so disturbed by the fact that I was letting Ben shake me up like that. I was happy with Drew! Wasn’t I? I mean, things worked. We got along great. There were no real problems.

Things very slowly started deteriorating with Drew and me. I began seeing him in a different light. Everything he did began irritating me. He couldn’t cough without me letting out an annoyed sigh. I started feeling suffocated and like I needed space. However, things were relatively comfortable and I didn’t want to turn my life upside down just to have more breathing room. So I stayed put, settled into a life of going through the motions. I would wake up, clean house or run errands, go to work, go to sleep, and repeat. A couple times a week, I stayed after work for drinks with coworkers and regular customers. Once or twice, Ben was there and joked that I should dump my fiance. I laughed it off.

Then one night, Sarah came up and said, “So, I gave Ben my number.” I stopped entering an order and looked at her, “Ben? Military Ben?”

She continued wiping the table next to me, oblivious to my heart beating down in my guts. I could feel my face flush. “He asked, so… Yeah, I gave it to him.”

“Oh. Well, I’m just surprised. A lot of customers ask for your number and you don’t give it out,” I said and finished inputting the customer’s order, trying to ignore the sinking feeling inside me.

“He’s cute,” she shrugged. “Why not?”

Yes, why not? I thought to myself, over and over all evening long. Why shouldn’t he call her? I mean, I was with DREW. What Ben did was none of my business. Logic didn’t stick, though. I couldn’t help feeling betrayed. By who? And for God’s sake, WHY? Nobody was betraying me. But as we all know, emotions know nothing of logic.

By the time Ben came into the restaurant again, I had talked myself into believing that I had been completely silly to be at all bothered by him asking Sarah for her number. I must have just been PMSing, I told myself. I walked over and greeted Ben and his friends and decided to tease him. “Sooo, you asked for Sarah’s number, huh?” He gave a small smile. “Well, you’re getting married, I guess.” Shit. There it was again. My stomach twisted into a knot and my heart dropped. I smiled back. “Yeah. Well, see you guys later!”

I darted back to check on my tables, trying to ignore the thumping in my chest. So what? It means nothing. He’s just being silly. I don’t care about him! I love Drew! I kept repeating these things to myself for what felt like hours. Just a short time later though, I was off work. I went home and suddenly, I just had zero desire to be there anymore. I made an excuse to go to the store and drove around for the longest time, a driving, singing, crying cliche. For no reason at all, I sang along to love songs and just cried. What was the deal? I just felt so empty.

After days of constantly thinking about Ben, I felt like I needed to be around him more to really know what I was feeling. I wondered if maybe I was just looking for an excuse to leave Drew. One night, Drew and our roommate went out of town for the weekend. I knew I couldn’t just invite Ben over and wasn’t sure I wanted that much privacy anyway. I invited Ben and his friends over to my house after work. I thought we could all just hang out in a group setting. We had a couple of drinks and watched TV. Mostly, we all just talked. For hours. I sat beside Ben for the majority of the time. I tried to be casual, but every time I came back from getting a drink or going to the bathroom, I sat a little closer. I think it was obvious, because he would briefly brush his leg against mine, looking me directly in the eye. My heart absolutely pounded, for most of the night. Before I knew it, the sun was coming up and the guys left. I went to bed with a smile on my face and that feeling we all get at times – the one where you just know that something huge is about to happen.

To Be Continued…

Read Part One HERE.

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Ben, Part One

Rhonda Gail — Sat, 14 Apr 2012 01:17:06 +0000

For a year or so around the age of twenty-four, I worked at a bar and grill as a server. I had a great time with my coworkers and customers. One of my regular groups who came in a few times a week included my boyfriend and our friends. In fact, I ended up working there in the first place because we all frequented the restaurant to play trivia. I needed a job, they needed a server. Done.

We lived in a town with an Army training facility, so our restaurant was frequented by soldiers. It wasn’t uncommon to be hit on by some drunk guy who may or may not be married. And 8 times out of 10, the guy wasn’t at all attractive. Besides, I had a boyfriend. One evening, a group of military guys came in. They were definitely a more attractive group than I’d been serving. They were seated at another server’s table, but I had to walk by their table on the way to the bar to pick up drinks. On one pass, a guy called me over. I politely chatted with him for a minute. His name was Ben*. He was better than attractive. Ben was HOT. When he invited me to have drinks with them after work, I politely declined, saying I had to get home to my boyfriend. He was clearly disappointed.

It all began that night, though I didn’t realize it at the time.

Ben and his friends came in frequently, though I rarely waited on them. He would always flirt and I smiled and kept going. I sometimes stayed after work with my best friend Sarah to have drinks with them. After a few months, they stopped coming. I can’t really remember why now, but I think they left town.

A couple of months after I started serving there, my boyfriend Drew and I got engaged. At the time, it was a wonderful idea. Sure, we’d only been dating a few months, but we had known each other for years and had been living together from the beginning of our relationship. I actually don’t recall ever feeling like I couldn’t live without him, like I NEEDED to be with him forever. It was more like a decision to get married. Looking back, I think I just liked the idea of being married. I wanted a fairytale.

Things weren’t perfect with Drew and me. I didn’t really feel a romantic spark like I thought I would feel with someone I was planning to marry. We fought over where to live after getting married, whether we would have a large or small wedding, and how much time I should spend out with my friends after work. Other than that, we got along great and it was a lot like living with a good friend. I had never been especially attracted to Drew, but I cared enough about him that I didn’t care about all that.

One night I was working and Sarah came over to where I was standing by the bar. “Ben and Mark are here!” Who?, I thought to myself, as I looked to where she was gesturing. His back was turned, but I knew Ben instantly. My heart skipped a beat or four. I knew I had to say hello. It was the polite thing to do and besides, we were all friends. But I couldn’t move. My feet were glued to the floor. I. Could. Not. Move. After what felt like a lifetime, his eyes met mine when he was scanning the room. I couldn’t hide, I had to speak to him now. Why was I so nervous, anyway? So I walked over and greeted him. We said our hellos and had a quick catch up. The rest of my shift, I could not stop thinking about Ben. There was no specific thought – his smiling face just kept popping up in my head. Just before I closed my tables out for the night, Ben caught my attention and called me over.

“So. Still with that boyfriend?” I held up my left hand to show my ring. “Yep. We’re engaged.” His face fell. My heart fell.

To Be Continued…

*All names have been changed for privacy.

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Authenticity

Rhonda Gail — Wed, 11 Apr 2012 17:37:34 +0000

When I first began this blog over two years ago, it was for the purpose of having an outlet. I just wanted to be able to share my life and never really expected anybody to read it. I absolutely never went into it wanting to make money. Now, I’m not going to get down on those who do start blogs for making money, or those who turned their hobby into a cash-making opportunity. Good for them. I mostly just want to give myself permission to just… be. If I don’t blog for weeks at a time, it doesn’t matter. I’m not losing any money. Now, I do pay for my blog – for hosting and boring stuff like that. I don’t mind it because it’s like spending money on any hobby. I do have some ads in my sidebar from time to time, but nobody paid for those spots. They are small businesses of friends and companies I truly care about and want to support. A couple of times, I threw out there the idea of selling ad space and got some positive feedback and interest. However, I just don’t want to be tied to my blog in that way. I never want it to be an obligation to blog. I don’t want to put together a post late at night because I looked at my stats and realized I needed to drive more traffic. I don’t want to blog on what’s popular so I can make a few dollars.

I want to be authentic.

That being said, you may notice a shift on this blog. yes, I will still blog about frivolous things, such as bling I’d like to own and what I should do with my hair. However, I will get deeper here. The truth is, sometimes I just want to talk about a heartbreak I endured eight years ago. Sometimes, I want to remind everyone what marriage really means. You’ll see deeper stuff here. Maybe daily, maybe once a month, but it will be here – my authentic self, on this screen for you all to see.

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