Hepburn and Houndstooth » parenting

Ask DaddyGeek

Dustin — Mon, 05 Sep 2011 20:00:08 +0000

Hi. My name is Dustin, and I am a DaddyGeek. I’m also Rhonda Gail’s husband, which is probably the only reason she’s letting me do this.

Rhonda and I have talked about having me write a guest post for her blog, but we’ve had trouble deciding on a subject. She insists that people find my role in the family fascinating. Apparently, it’s unusual for a guy to respond to getting laid off by spending the first year of his son’s life as a SAHD because jobs paying enough to make financial sense to give up Unemployment benefits plus pay gas and childcare were rare. Especially in the South.

It’s also viewed as unique and “maybe a little weird” to be so involved in raising my kids.

The thing is, that’s a fairly broad subject. What would you, Rhonda’s readers, want to know or actually find interesting about that rare creature known as the involved father?

Neither of us had a very good answer, so we decided to ask you.

Leave a comment. Ask me anything you want. I’ll come back and answer questions in a later post. If we get enough questions, I’ll do multiple posts.

No question is off-limits and I promise an honest answer, though I’ll probably try to inject some humor if I start feeling uncomfortable. Don’t judge me, it’s a defense mechanism.

Dustin Christian is a blogger and freelance writer. He specializes in blogging, pop culture, entertainment, parenting, and all things geek. You can reach Dustin through his blog, DaddyGeek, where he discusses his experiences raising the dungeonmasters of tomorrow.

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Hump Day Dump Day

Rhonda Gail — Wed, 24 Aug 2011 17:00:00 +0000

It drives me absolutely crazy when a retailer identifies something in a houndstooth pattern as “herringbone.” Um, no… huge difference. If you’re going to sell the stuff, KNOW what you’re talking about!

I had to remove an uncle of mine from my Facebook friends yesterday. I am very tolerant of others’ beliefs and viewpoints and can agree to disagree. However, in standing for his strong opinions, he said things to me that I can’t support. Done.

This morning, Dustin and Harper walked (well, Harper strolled) Nick to school! We’ve wanted to try that for awhile, living about 5 blocks away, but it’s so hot and we just weren’t sure how long it would take. So they left early this morning to accommodate it and it worked out great! I’m afraid it is still too hot to pick him up that way in the afternoons, but he may start trying anyway. He’s always almost late to work because of sitting in that ridiculous car rider line!

Sometimes, I have a moment when I think “I’m having another kid. That makes THREE KIDS under one roof! I’m insane!” I really do wonder from time to time exactly how I’m going to handle it and how a baby is going to fit into our crazy schedule. Obviously, it’s going to take a lot of adjusting!

We found out this week that Nick is in the Accelerated Reader program at his school. This definitely isn’t a surprise. He’s been reading for a couple of years now. I was reading at a third grade level when I started kindergarten. It’s just nice that they have this program so that he can advance and not have to hang back with those who aren’t reading at a higher level. He was sent home with 107 words that he has to know how to read by the end of Kindergarten. Well, he knows them all. He read through them effortlessly. I’m clearly a proud mama!

Hump day dump day I just really need a good old fashioned brain dump....
Hump Day Dump Day I was so excited that this morning, on his 5th-ever...
Brain Dump So much built up in my head, I feel like...

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Easy and fun discipline?! Yes, really.

Rhonda Gail — Tue, 10 Aug 2010 10:00:20 +0000

Now, no discipline method works for every kid and my kids are so well-behaved that I rarely have to do anything other than correct them. However, my 4-year-old is not perfect and is prone to whining in an attempt to get his way. When I saw a blog post about paper behavior charts (well, was going to link to the source here, but i’ve lost it. if this is yours, please tell me!), I was inspired to create one.

I realized that I had more colorful fabric than paper, so I made my own version with stuff I had around the house. Love a free craft project, especially when it works to help discipline my kids!

I know, my art skills are astounding.

Anyway, the way it works is this: Nick (or Bob, as he prefers to be called) starts the day with his clothespin on the brown square. Each time he does a favor for me or something nice for someone, he moves up a spot (this does not include his normal chores that are required of him). Each time he breaks a house rule or does something he was warned not to do, he moves down a spot (there are some offenses that send him straight to time out, such as hitting or blatantly telling me “no!” which he does sometimes). At the end of the day, after his bath and before bed, if he has reached the top square, he gets a treat (candy, small trinket, or an activity of some kind). If he has reached the bottom, he gets either a toy or a privilege taken away.

Yesterday was our first time to try this and it worked GREAT. He did everything I asked of him without batting an eyelash and as a result, gets to spend a few days with Grammy!

What is the reward/punishment system in your home? Do you use the same method with each child?

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Tuesday Ten [7.6.2010]

Rhonda Gail — Tue, 06 Jul 2010 18:57:01 +0000

1. Nick’s first movie Saturday was a huge success and the entire day ended up being just for Nick. My mom and I spoiled him all day. It’s rare that he gets undivided attention these days, so that was nice.

2. Nick has been scared of leaving the pool steps all summer and yesterday, when nobody was paying attention, I got him to stand in the shallow end. He was so surprised that he could touch bottom! I’m so proud!

3. My husband and I had a date night yesterday and it was awesome! We just did our usual thing, going to BWW. We had blueberry beer and lots of deep fried goodness.

4. I have been trying to be such a great wife and mother, and I think I’m finally finding a balance between that and being ME.

5. Thanks to the encouragement of my friend Nicole, I am back to writing for the first time since college. Yeah, I write a blog, but I’m talking about fiction. I used to be really passionate about it, but when I had kids, lost the time and drive.

6. Some days I get really burned out on cooking and I just want to have ice cream for dinner. I never do, though.

7. I have not worked out in weeks and I plan to get a work out in tonight, no matter what! I have to do something about all the junk I consumed over the weekend.

8. Nick has gotten into this terrible habit of lying to get out of something he doesn’t want to do. Luckily for us, he’s a horrible liar and well tell the truth with a little prodding.

9. I am on a cupcake-making kick… good for my family, not good for my waistline.

10. I did a good deed Saturday for a complete stranger and I’m still thinking about her. Was she scamming me? Did she really need help? I’ll never know.

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Looking the Part

Rhonda Gail — Wed, 30 Jun 2010 12:00:57 +0000

I have mentioned before that I don’t look like or live the life of the woman I feel I AM inside. I have been struggling with this and I think I have come up with a solution. I have to look the part. This is not huge news. Magazines and self-help experts have said for years that you are more productive, more motivated, and less depressed if you start out your day showering and getting fully dressed. My friend and fellow stay-at-home-mom Brandy swears by it. She dresses down to her shoes every morning and she is something like a modern-day June Cleaver.

Aside from my desires to be Supermom, I want and need a job, even if it’s part-time. I am working on some ideas to work at home, but I could use some time outside of the home with adults. I’d love to have a job “on the outside.” Ha. Experts say that if you dress for the job you want, you’re far more likely to get hired. I’m definitely willing to test that theory. I mean, I’m not going to dress in office attire to hang with the kids, but I’ll definitely start doing my hair and makeup more and getting out of my PJs.

I am going to conduct a one-week experiment. Beginning Saturday (because I am taking my son to the movies, I’ll be getting dressed that day anyway), for seven days I will get dressed and do something with my hair and face. I can not promise shoes though. Actually, all I can really promise is that I’ll try to match and brush my hair. Sometimes the kids really are in control, sadly. Will there be pictures for proof? You bet. Will I sometimes crop off my head because I skipped makeup one day? Probably. Will there be a picture of me in my PJs one of the days? Quite possibly.

Let’s see how this goes! And now, the really brave part….

Here is how I’m looking as I write this post at 6:46 p.m. on Tuesday evening.

Squatting to fit into the webcam, I’m wearing robot boxers, flip flops, and a filthy t-shirt. I have not brushed my hair (clearly) or washed my face. After Harper goes to bed, I will shower and put on more PJs, then repeat tomorrow. I can’t wait to begin this new adventure Saturday!

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Let’s Cook Dinner! (Or, Nothing Ever Goes As Planned)

Rhonda Gail — Fri, 18 Jun 2010 04:12:54 +0000

Even though I plan our meals out and grocery shop for two weeks at a time, I have to be flexible, because sometimes things just don’t work out. Sometimes I don’t buy enough chicken. Sometimes I forget that we have dinner plans with friends. Sometimes I get sick and just don’t feel like cooking. When things don’t go exactly as planned, I may make sandwiches or turn a meal vegetarian. Last night, we had BBQ pork chops, and I intended to use leftovers to make my BBQ pork taquitos. However, as I was putting the chops in the slow cooker, I realized that I didn’t have enough for leftovers. I did, however, have extra ground beef in the freezer. So I looked around at the other things I had in the house and came up with a taco-enchilada-type-thing. I even decided to take you guys along on my experimental journey.

Step 1. Finely chop a few slices of onion.

Step 2: Heat skillet to medium-high and turn to grab olive oil just in time to see Nick pull something out from under Harper, sending him face-first onto the floor.

Step 3: Pause to see if Harper is going to get up.

Step 4: Rush to pick up Harper after seeing that he’s crying so hard, it’s silent.

Step 5: Sweep Harper up. BLOOD! Pouring out of his mouth.

Step 6: Harper on hip, run to turn off stove…

As I said in the title, nothing ever goes as planned. With his blood on our shirts, Harper and I engaged in a tug-of-war with both the pacifier and a damp cloth.

ugh, that tear under his eye is killing me.

By the time I got a few peeks around the paci and got the bleeding to stop, he was over it and had moved on to wrestling.

So um, Step 7: Start back at Step 2…

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Tuesday Ten

Rhonda Gail — Tue, 08 Jun 2010 13:39:27 +0000

1. Harper said “bye” yesterday, complete with wave! The absolute best part of parenting is watching them learn and grow.

2. In high school and in my early college years, I refashioned clothes I no longer wanted and had my mom sew original designs. I loved being creative with clothes. Now, mostly out of financial need, I am into it again. I currently have a large stack of clothes to work on and I am so excited about it!

3. Nick went to Vacation Bible School last night for the first time. He absolutely loved it, as I knew he would.

4. We created a log-in on the computer for Nick. It is very restricted. He can’t surf most sites and he has no printing capabilities or any capabilities at all, really. We will gradually broaden his boundaries as he gets older. He is loving it and is learning so much. He plays on the Thomas and Friends website 90% of the time.

5. Last night, I had a Moment as a mom. At 10 pm on a typical night, there is a sink full of dishes that I don’t have energy to touch, toys all over the floor, and I’m emotionally and physically exhausted from dinner/bath/bedtime. Yesterday was different. At 9:45, I looked around and smiled. Dishes were done, cooked chicken chopped and placed in freezer for Wednesday’s dinner, and only feeling halfway wiped out. The kids had even gone to bed smiling and without a fight. I decided that for that day, I rocked as a mom.

6. We have finally made the decision to have one more child. I am definitely hoping for a girl, but will still be thrilled if it’s a boy (which it’s likely to be). We have already decided on a couple of girl names and have a list of boy names to decide on. However, we probably won’t even start trying until early next year. There are a couple of my cousins who are currently trying. I am so thrilled that this last child of ours will have cousins close in age, as I have grown up having.

7. This time of year is hell at my dad’s house. The pests come out in full force. I have battled a couple of cockroaches, smashed lots of spiders, and sprayed ants all day long. We live in the woods in a very old house, and every year at this time, we’re invaded. I’m a little ready for winter. Mostly, I’m just ready to move out of here.

8. This weekend is going to be amazing. Saturday night, I have a Girls Night with my friend Amber. We’ll also meet up for a bit with my friend Tyler, who I’ve not seen in YEARS. Sunday is my family reunion, which I look forward to every year. My family is fantastic. This entire week I’m going to be busy, getting an outfit together for Saturday, deciding what to make for the reunion, and getting caught up on housework so I don’t have to worry about it all weekend.

9. The last few days, I’ve been trying out getting up earlier, theorizing that it would make me go to sleep earlier at night and I would get more sleep. Well, turns out that I am still not falling asleep till nearly 3 a.m. most nights, therefore getting less sleep.

10. At the beginning of this post, I announced that Harper is saying “bye.” Well, he just dropped his cup and said “uh-oh.” New words every day!

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Mother’s Day Thanks

Rhonda Gail — Mon, 10 May 2010 15:22:52 +0000

Yesterday, Erin at Blue-Eyed Bride did a post to thank her mother and her son on Mother’s Day. I decided to shamelessly steal the idea, but my kids had other ideas. So today, I’ll limit it to thanking my mama.

Dear Mama,

Thank you for the little things. For letting me tag along behind you everywhere you went for a full eighteen years, never letting on that you just needed some time alone. Thank you for tucking me in, dancing with me in the kitchen, and taking me for All-American meals. Thank you for all the time you devoted to me to guarantee I never felt alone.

Thank you for taking in all my crazy ideas, never dismissing me. Because of that, I grew to believe in myself and dream big. Thank you for showing me how to take care of a family, while reminding me that there’s an entire world outside of the home and I can do anything. When Nick was born, I was overwhelmed and depressed and I’m forever thankful to you for taking him while I slept and showing me the beauty in staying home for his first year of life.

Thank you for teaching me that family comes first before anything or anyone else. Period.

Thank you for sharing your name with me.

Thank you for all the sacrifices you made so that I would never miss out on anything and for filling my life with joy so that I never knew we lacked “things.” Thank you for making me spend the night at Grandma’s, because I didn’t fully realize that people aren’t with us forever and we should treasure the time we have with them. Thank you for listening to my never-ending chatter. I now know exactly what that felt like and I don’t know how I’m going to be as patient as you were.

Thank you for speaking to me like an adult, never talking down to me or using baby talk. Thank you for treating me as your equal, even as a child, while never letting me forget that you are the parent.

Thank you for loving my children as much as you love me and for loving and accepting my husband as an important part of the family.

I love you so much and hope that I can teach my boys the same lessons you taught with me, and with your guidance, even more.

Love,

Rhonda

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